(the) Melvins at The Paradise

At this point, there is really no need at all to write a Melvins live review, so basically this is going to be a little reminder of how this band stands head and shoulders above pretty much any band out there right now. And Buzz, if you’re reading this for some unknown reason, I don’t care if you approve of my liking your band or not, I don’t care if you hate me for being a fan of your music, I don’t care if you think it’s stupid that I banged my fucking head like I was sixteen years old and heard “Angel of Death” by Slayer for the first time. Go ahead and hate me and all your other fans if you want, we will still show up to see you and Dale and the rest of the guys lay waste to every living thing out there, because I don’t know if there’s another band that sounds like this. The sheer heaviness of the guitar and bass combining to create a wall of fuzzed out sludge that you could almost see hanging in the air is unlike anything any other “metal” band is doing. The Melvins are one of thee best doom bands around, when they decide to play doom. “At the Stake” proved that fact once and for all, just a mammoth, grinding.lurching beast of a song that renders 99.9% of doom bands irrelevant. “Boris” just banged the final nail in the coffin. Are you fucking kidding me? Can you even quantify the heaviness of this shit? Every once in a while Buzz would let loose some retardedly amazing Gonzoid guitar solo that sounded like Alvin Lee had just made a guest appearance on stage, only to be followed by more waves of sludge and feedback. Was there a pit? Yes, there fucking was. Because when the Melvins launch into riff hymns such as “Revolve” and “Sweet Willy Rollbar”, your body can’t help but react, there’s just no way a living, breathing person can stand still and not headbang or just lose it completely and go batshit crazy.

Look, this review is pointless, I know that. But I felt that I just had to write something about this show due to the sheer epicness of it. These guys aren’t going anywhere for a long, long time, so get used to the fact that the Melvins will be releasing new albums and touring for years to come; at least that’s what they showed last night. They are as vital and relelvant as any new band that just started playing. Pioneering. Groundbreaking. Genius. These are words that get tossed around way too much to describe bands that do not deserve the accolades, but the Melvins deserve any and all praise thrown their way. And Buzz, if you don’t like it, that’s just too fucking bad.